oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
