if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
