I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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