I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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