i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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