I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
