i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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