I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
