Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
