Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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