I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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