p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
