Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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