Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
