kristin has been a bad kristin
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
