I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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