You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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