Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
