We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
