The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
