So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
