Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
a search helicopter?!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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