Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
