Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
