Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
