And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
