The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
