ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
soo... how was my night?
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