5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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