But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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