Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize