Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
