So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
