it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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