We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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