My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
