SEEEEXXX PLEASE
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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