coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
