i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
