so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
