I wish I could teleport
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
