So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
