I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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