I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
