I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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