i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
