I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
