Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
