Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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