That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
