You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
