He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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