Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
