I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize