Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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