His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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