Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
