Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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