if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Never underestimate the power of titties
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
