none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
