I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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