we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
